- The Riddle of Strider
- All that is gold does not glitter,
- Not all those who wander are lost;
- The old that is strong does not wither,
- Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
- From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
- A light from the shadows shall spring;
- Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
- The crownless again shall be king.
- (J.R.R. Tolkien)
- Ramadan is a time of reflection. So even though I am a non-muslim, I felt compelled during this month to write a reflective piece on the Islamic State that has graciously accepted me as a resident for the past (almost) seven years.
- Every once in a while, someone asks me what I think of Doha, what I think of Qatar. It's never an easy question to answer.
- On the one hand, there are so many things that I love about this country. Oddly enough, it's not about the amazing architecture, the endless and sumptuous culinary feasts or the incredible wealth that literally seeps from every grain of sand. While these initially piqued our interest and brought us here, they're not what have kept us here for close to seven years.
- No, at the top of the list is that it's probably one of the most child-friendly places in the world. Our friends and family back home are always a little skeptical when we say that, particularly those who still refuse to believe we live in anything other than a bedouin tent and ride on anything other than a camel. But ask any expat family who's lived here with young kids; they'll all say the same.
- When we first moved here, I suffered numerous panic attacks as restaurant servers and shop keepers would reach out to touch Kiddo, to take her in their arms, even to whisk her away to parade around to their colleagues or patrons. My skeptic's head was filled with visions of child nabbings back then; I didn't realize that many of the people working in the service industry here had left little ones like her back home, that they wouldn't see them for two years or more. I couldn't initially fathom that they just genuinely loved kids.
- We would go jogging with her in the jogger stroller on the Corniche on weekends, and laborers would stop us to ask if they could get their picture taken with her. Our North American mindset would raise flags immediately, until we'd realize that these men had nothing to fill their one day off a week but a game slightly reminiscent of hopscotch. The sweet giggles of a child were likely a balm to their calloused bodies and minds. They would gather 'round her, each making funny faces in an effort to get her to focus her bright baby blues on him.
- The attention didn't stop there. I remember walking through the shopping mall and having fully veiled Qatari ladies stop me so they could kiss the top of Kiddo's 14-month round head and give her a hard candy. Qatari men would lay a hand on her head and utter a small blessing. At airport customs, we would get whisked to the front of the arrivals line as soon as she got spotted. The one time I lost sight of her in a grocery store I panicked, and then found her sitting contentedly at the produce weighing counter, munching on the contents of a fruit bowl given to her by the clerk who had seen her wandering alone.
- Second on the list would be the surprising acts of kindness, generosity and compassion that we have experienced when we least expected it. A few weeks ago, I was leaving the grocery store and a Qatari man stopped his truck to let me cross to my parking spot with my trolley. My trolley got stuck on the curb, and I signaled him to drive on; it was the start of Ramadan, and I didn't want to be contributing to the impatience that sometimes comes during the initial days of fasting. But the gentleman didn't move. He put his truck in park, opened his door and got out, and came over to help me lift my trolley off the curb. Such a small act of kindness, but for some reason it really stood out.
- Smilin' Vic once had a minor accident on his bike, nothing major but enough to get him to pull over to the side of the road to recover his bearings and sort himself out. A Qatari man who saw the incident pulled over and offered to assist. A slightly embarrassed Smilin' Vic smiled, told him all was fine, and waved him off. The gentleman drove off, only to return several minutes later with his young son, some water and a first aid kit in tow. Such a small act of kindness, but never to be forgotten.
- I worked with one particular Qatari lady who was fully veiled. The only thing we would ever see of her in public were her eyes. But she had the most amazing, expressive smiling eyes I have ever seen. I will never forget those eyes, not even if I live to be a hundred. Everyone was drawn to this woman with the smiling eyes. You would walk up to her and her joy at seeing you was palpable, even though she wore a head to toe cloak of black. You didn't need to see the smile. You felt the smile. You felt the compassion, you felt the humanity. Such very small crinkles at the corner of each eye, yet they spoke of a lifetime of kindness.
- Third on the list would be the rediscovery of the true meaning of some of our most commercial Christian holidays. Every year spent here for Christmas and Easter, we have opened our home to near strangers less fortunate than us to partake in a traditional North American holiday meal, a prayer of thanks, and a laugh with us. We've gotten to know some amazing people from the Philippines, from Ethiopia, from Sri Lanka, from Nepal. While we miss our family so much, we've been so blessed to have these people come into our lives. Kiddo always looks forward to the "after festivities", when we pack up containers of food and sweets and go visit compound security and maintenance staff.
- Fourth would be a deeper understanding of other faiths. I am so grateful that we have had the chance to meet people of different cultures and religions who have been willing to share with us the meaning behind many of their practices, holidays and beliefs. I really do feel like I've grown into a much more respectful and reflective human being by living here.
- Fifth would be the understanding that at our core, we're not all that different after all. The last company I worked for employed more than 80 nationalities. While we might differ on work ethic, or procedure, or approach, there were always similarities (whether or not everyone would admit to them is another matter!). But I have sat in a room and shared a laugh with Syrians, Egyptians, Columbians, Venezuelans, Americans, New Zealanders, Iranians, Qataris, Pakistanis, Philippinos, South Africans ... I have commiserated with Scots, Australians, Indians, Nepalis, Malaysians, Sudanese, Spaniards ... I have shed tears with Ukranians, Brits, Dutch, Lebanese, Iraqis, Palestinians, Jordanians ... at some point in time, some or all of us have managed to find some point of commonality, some common bond. The differences aren't so scary once you've gotten past the similarities!
- So I guess that would be my long-winded partial answer to a question that I find so very hard to answer: "What do you think about Qatar?"
- But the full answer is really hard to pin down. What I'd really like to answer is closer to Tolkien's poem above. And that's not really an answer. More an impression, an interpretation:
- What would appear to impress us most in this land somehow leaves us rather indifferent. What impresses us has nothing to do with glitter. I am no more attached to Qatar for its architecture or its wealth than I am to Canada.
- My Canadian roots are strong, and I am an expat, not an immigrant, so I naturally find myself longing for my culture and my heritage.
- And one day, inevitably, I will return to the land that beckons.
- We really are grateful for the opportunity to be here, and there are so many experiences to be had. It's different for everyone I guess. For us it's not the massive crystal chandeliers, the sky scrapers, the Versace boutiques, the Dammas jewelry shops or the multitude of Bentley's and Ferraris cruising the streets of Doha. It's simply that we've built a life here for now, and collected the most amazing moments and friends and memories along the way.
