As of this morning, I have a readership of four! That's right, I gathered up my courage and shared my blog link.
All of a sudden my blog feels like a scary place. For the last three months, it's been just me and the screen; my keyboard has become an outlet, a refuge.
This morning, I see my blog for the window into me that it is. It lays me quite bare, like in that dream where you realize that you are the only one in the room wearing no clothes. Standing naked in a room full of onlookers, yet everyone carrying on as usual, no one noticing the nakedness except me. It's quite discomfiting.
All the same, I go back to that dream time and time again ... I guess I'm determined to overcome the uncertainty, the lack of confidence, the self-doubt. Keep at it, don't give up, forge ahead. Write a little more, dream a little more, forge ahead until I am quite comfortable standing here, whether dressed to the nines or wearing nothing but my undies. Keep on writing, keep on searching, keep on trying.
Stop worrying about whether someone is watching; stop worrying about whether anyone cares. Just doing it because it is something I love to do, and because it is something to do; because it is better than the alternative of just thinking about it and not doing anything about it.
I hope somebody will find something they like in this blog, or at least something they can relate to. But if they don't, that's ok too. It remains a wonderful means of release, of personal gratification, of temporary escape, of reflection.
But I must admit, I'm a little chuffed. Somebody's reading me.